Life with chronic illness began many moons ago for me back in my sophomore year of high school. There were lots of doctors, lots of appointments, lots of bloodwork and lots of questions involved — yet not a lot of answers.
A majority of the issues I was facing were attributed to a range of guesses: hormones, stress, diet, exercise, sleep, and the list goes on. But as one knows if they have been to appointment after appointment with no improvement, it becomes rather stressful (to say the least). If you are also familiar with the extensive list of autoimmune diseases and the symptoms they garner, you also know that stress is one of the most harmful contributors to onset or worsen our symptoms.
So as we were finally getting closer to an answer, following many months of testing — including countless vials of blood, MRIs, CT scans (with barium “smoothies” that caused major sensory issues), endoscopies, colonoscopies, you name it — I received my diagnosis in November of 2011.
Crohn’s Disease.
Those words changed a lot for me that day. Whether I knew the real impact the situation would have on me at the time, I don’t know. But what I do know was how I felt. Feeling everything and somehow nothing all at once: confused, scared, helpless, fearful, angry and numb to name a few. And remember the hundreds of questions I had before? Yeah, well now there were thousands.
Hearing that you have a chronic disease that manifests differently in everybody who shares the same diagnosis — how could that be? What would that look like? How will I know if this is normal? Can I still have a normal life? Will I be okay?
I spiraled.
A lot of time spent feeling overwhelmed and unsure (or the fear of the unknown as I like to call it) — and subsequently a lot of time suppressing those feelings down to push away the discomfort and unfamiliarity I had recently been presented with. But guess what that did? It accomplished what I needed at the time (short-term ignorance), while leaving me with an all-consuming healing journey for years to come (long-term affliction).
This short-term vs. long-term thinking structure eventually forced me to wake up to the big picture. The instant gratification felt great now, but are there any consequences to those actions? If so, when would those consequences show up?
Little did I know, this was only the beginning of my lifelong healing. I have continued to learn so much about myself along the way; I began understanding what to look for, what to do if something wasn’t “right,” how to manage my expectations, how to process my emotions and so much more.
These experiences do not just affect your physical health. These experiences will fully take your mental and emotional health victim as well — if you let it. You will have some good days and some not so good days. You will face days worse than others, but you will also be rewarded with great days! Don’t get me wrong, remaining positive can be much easier said than done… but it is possible, and it is within reach.
Listening to your body is the number one piece of advice I can give.
In the beginning, I was not always fully honest about what was happening to my body, and I would underplay the pain or severity. You are not only doing a disservice to yourself, but the team of people who are trying to help you.
(I am aware of the unhelpful medical professionals who are seemingly not on the same team as you… I have had my fair share of those as well… but we are not talking about those people.)
Fast forward nearly a decade later, I was in my early twenties when the pandemic hit. Things already felt slightly out of control, but now it was much worse.
I began to reflect… I needed to take my own advice.
These things I was experiencing were real. The level of stress and anxiety I was constantly under was left to be blamed on the state of the world, but I knew there was more to it than just that. (Of course, that didn’t help, but everyone else seemed to be adjusting differently.)
After gaining the confidence to bring this up to my parents yet again, I had compiled a hefty list of symptoms I was experiencing after seeing too many ADHD TikTok’s that hit a little too close to home. It was like they had taken the words right out of my mouth… but I had never known how to articulate it before.
The evidence wasn’t necessary, but it definitely helped since I knew my mom and dad would be skeptical. This wasn’t “typical” for someone who received A’s all throughout school and graduated at the top 10% of my high school and college classes, but my research proved just that: a lot of people with ADHD will actually overcompensate and burn out more quickly than someone who is neurotypical and does not have the struggles that come along with our executive dysfunction.
Finally, after understanding what those “unusual" things I had been doing were and accepting why I was the way I was, I took the next step and booked my first appointment with a psychiatrist.
And a few weeks later, I got my answer.
When I received the official diagnosis, all those thoughts and emotions from years ago came flooding back again even though I had known it all along. Hearing that you have a chronic disorder that manifests differently in everybody who shares the same diagnosis — how could that be? What would that look like? How will I know if this is normal? Can I still have a normal life? Will I be okay?
I still had thousands of questions, maybe more… but the difference this time around was that the main emotion that appeared was relief. I knew that I had done it before, and I could do it again.
Funny enough, at first, I didn’t see another connection between ADHD and my autoimmune disease besides the emotions attached to it. But here we are, in 2023 and I have both my Crohn’s Disease and ADHD under control through the correct medication management, plus the help of many other factors (in which I can expand upon in future posts)!
When I was first diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease, my CRP (C-Reactive Protein which measures the inflammation in your body) marker was above 30, where the normal range should fall between 0-10.
That number had steadily declined over the years as my body responded to treatment (self-administered biweekly Humira shots), but never as much as I had hoped. That all changed when I began my ADHD medication, Strattera. After starting Strattera, I must admit, I was nervous, but I noticed a decreased level of anxiety almost immediately. Those nerves quickly dissipated after experiencing so many positive effects. Months went by and we had multiple follow-up appointments to check-in and make needed adjustments, but I felt good.
Not thinking much of it, it was time for my routine gastroenterologist (GI) appointment, accompanied by routine bloodwork of course. And to my surprise, I FINALLY saw what I had been working towards all those years… that CRP marker registered as <1.
MY CROHN’S WAS IN REMISSION.
I couldn’t believe it. My eyes welled up with happy tears, but my brain was already one step ahead of me (as always)…
Does this mean… the correct treatment and management of ADHD… is correlated to the success of treatment of other chronic illnesses and disorders?
To be continued…
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